Feeling Guilty

Today, I'm feeling a little bit guilty about a trip that I'm taking this weekend.

Last April, I bought tickets to go to the Christmas market in Copenhagen, Denmark, with a bunch of girls from work.  At the time, I thought Adam would have lots of chances to go on his own trips without me. 

So far, that is not how this year is working out. 

The reality of the situation is that I'm going on some trips, and Adam is staying in Tarsus alone.  In part, this is because my trips have been paid for for some time, and it is in part because I'm traveling for work and taking kids on trips.

I'd love to be able to take Adam along with me on the work trips, but I don't know that he would like the reality of traveling with high school students.  The trips are more work than work, if you know what I mean!

Part of the reason that I'm feeling guilty is that I'll need to buy some credits (I mean, take some classes) so that I can renew my teaching license.  The cost of the classes and the license renewal would be one heck of a trip.

With all of that money of ours being funneled to things that I'm the cause of has got me feeling really selfish and greedy.  Is it?  Not really, because with out spending that money I'd not have a job, but that does not make it any easier to have these fun things to do and know that Adam is at home alone without people to talk to. 

The worst part, I guess, is that I'll be gone for nearly three weeks in January and February for the trip I'm going on for school and the trip to see Ariel, Harper, and Dan and the campus will be deserted.  I don't think it would be so bad if people were going to be around, but most everyone will be gone on trips to other interesting locations. 

I wish I could come up with a trip that I could send Adam on that (1) would not break the bank, (2) would be something really cool, and (3) would not be to a place that both of us want to go to.  This last thing is really important because Adam, god love him, is so sensitive about going places without me that he knows I want to see. 

His buddy from the PDX BIR is headed to India to visit his family, and I wish I could send him there for a week, but I don't know when a good time would be for him to go.

Ack. 

I'm just doomed to be guilty for a few months I guess.

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